"Every once in a while, a band comes along who make you sit up and re-evaluate everything you know about music. New York group Chesty Malone and the Slice ’em Ups, they are...that band. They’re just very exciting! Their sound is a cross between Lunachicks and Motorhead. If you like that whole leather-pants-wearing, Jack-Daniels-guzzling, look-at-us-upsetting-our-parents thing, you will absolutely love this band." --Natalie Dzerins LouderThanWar.com

"I was into the whole Punk/Metal crossover after hearing DRI, The Plasmatics and Carnivore and others, and admittedly I am a fan of older Danzig. I still am a true blooded metalhead down to my soul, but I still like some of the Crossover scene.

Cutting their teeth in the down and dirty Punk scene of New York, Chesty Malone And The Slice ‘em Ups comes at you with a Crossover attack that is hard to push away. Coming across like a vile concoction of The Misfits, Black Flag and Cramps mixed with the likes of Venom, Black Sabbath, DRI and Carnivore this foursome plays some wickedly mean yet amazingly enjoyable music.

Fifteen songs are offered up here, each one sounding like a Crossover version of old ‘b’ horror movies mixed with Shock Rock. Ms. Malone and company are Punk through and through, yet they also show great musicianship and fire that leans to the metal end of the spectrum. From the Punk attack of 'Primordial Times' then the change to the more metallic 'Filth Eater'. Chesty Malone and her bandmates exude both copious amounts of fun and passion for what they do.

A solid album complements of Chesty Malone And The Slice ‘em Ups. They are a band that may not ever get a whole lot of attention but they should, because simply they are a great band that takes seriously the nearly lost art of just having a damned good time while being as bloody as some Death Metal bands get."

Metalbite.com

"To conclude this edition of The Uber Rock Singles Club we’ve got a real exclusive for you as Chesty Malone And The Slice ‘Em Ups have given us an exclusive early preview of their soon to be released (throbbing) purple vinyl 7” ‘Destroy All Humans’, which is due out on Wrecked Records late Summer/early Fall. It’s a mighty slab of punk metal, bursting with energy as Jaqueline Blownaparte screams bloody murder over a chugging guitar riff courtesy of Anthony Allen Van Hoek. The record also boasts the kind of production that was always missing from those classic Plasmatics records making it all sound like evil personified. ‘Destroy All Humans’ really is B movie-tastic and just right for the bands long overdue inclusion on a Troma film soundtrack. There’s no let up for the B side either as anyone who heard our exclusive play of ‘Slay To Kill’ on The Uber Rock Radio Show: Edition 14 will vouch for. This baby really picks up the pace from the A side and is a furious full on attack on the senses. Seriously folks Chesty Malone And The Slice ‘Em Ups really have delivered a bloody feast of fucked up fun with this single, and I’ll be contacting Anthony for my copy (which you can do too via the hyperlink above), just as soon as I get back from a few weekends spent trudging round muddy fields in Europe."

--Johnny H, Uberrock.co.uk

"I always hated that lazy 'torture porn' tag that got created by the media in an attempt to afflict certain horror movies with negativity. Labelling flicks as vile, depraved and immoral, invariably though, sold more tickets and moved more product - no such thing as bad publicity, etc. This is why the musical equivalent of that tag, 'Torture Rock', is a perfect title for the new album from Chesty Malone and the Slice 'Em Ups because, simply, this is a band that deserves to be discovered by more people. Oh yeah, and because they are vile, depraved and immoral....

If you're curious as to why the word 'rock' was chosen to replace 'porn' for this album's torturous title then listen no further than stunning album track 'Panic At Point Doom', a startling stun gun blow of a tune that houses in its mid-section a riff so gargantuan that it would surely defeat any creature that dared to terrorise the band's home in New York, be it a Beast From 20,000 Fathoms or that computer generated fucker from Cloverfield.

The Slice 'Em Ups' crazed chimera of punk and metal, all by way of horror culture, trashy B-movies and cult cathode ray sickness, is as fucked up and furious as they come. Fronted by the female trouble that is Jaqueline Blownaparte - think the undead Penny Singleton starring in Blondie Goes To Monroeville Mall - the band will appeal to all dark denizens of sleazy, old school clubs where gutter punk 'n' roll is peddled like cheap drugs and bad sex. Ramming Motorhead, Misfits and The Cramps through the mangler, this band have fashioned a seedy sound that is an eerie exercise in badass songsmithery and bad taste but, as John Waters once said, bad taste is what entertainment is all about.

Entertainment, at its rawest, purest, was what grabbed a hold of me when I first heard 'Now We're Gonna See What Disaster Really Means', the 2008 debut from this bunch of sadistic song birthers. That previous record was a repulsive revelation and this follow-up - a split EP with hardcore mob Reason To Fight dissected the three year wait - raises the bar significantly; who said sequels are never better?

If you've heard 'Zombie Relief Fund' (or seen the lumbering lo-fi music video) previously then you'll know that Chesty Malone and the Slice 'Em Ups have lost none of their macabre sense of humour, yet there is a serious shift in quality on this sophomore release, both production and sound wise, and, as I loved that first album, I don't utter this statement lightly. Blownaparte sounds better, gnarlier, scarier, than ever and the guitars of Anthony Allen Van Hoek simply slay, throwing out chugging metal riffs alongside trashy three chord rock 'n' roll wonders.

Bookended by a gloomy, ghoulish intro/outro, 'Torture Rock', like its predecessor, is the haunted home for thirteen schlock rock songs - unlucky for some, but not you if you take the plunge and dive into this new release with teeth bared and black heart pumping. 'Protest The Unborn' kicks you in the gut and the punishment doesn't stop for around the next half hour or so....or until you crawl towards your weeping stereo and try to press repeat with fingers a-trembling, willing to take it all again with musical masochistic gusto. Anthemic choruses that sound like cursed mantras seep out of the likes of 'Bloodthirsty, Hungry & Mean', 'Brainwash Cocktail' and 'Primordial Times', ready to rub gored shoulders with the frenetic riffmongery of 'My Favourite Things' and 'The Brain That Ate New York'. 'Bloodsong' is possibly the most accessible that this band has ever sounded, thankfully, with its grue-afflicted lyrics, without compromise. 'Quest For Flesh', on the other severed hand, is possibly the fastest thing that this band has ever created - a noisy, near-perfect minute. 'Exit 13' opens with the band's first open love letter to a heavy Sabbath influence, a sludgy riff dissolving into frantic punk rock glory.

This Frankenstein's monster of influences, all smeared in an unashamed love of the horror genre and trashy pop culture, makes for one of the best albums of the year, without question. All pop punk bands and aficionados of these record company puppets should get down on their designer denim-cursed knees and bow down at the altar of Chesty Malone and the Slice 'Em Ups; almost living, kinda breathing proof that the best punk rock records come from untamed independent spirit and untutored talent.

'Torture Rock' is unhinged, debauched and, therefore, essential. Buy it or die."

--Gaz E, uberrock.co.uk

"Holy fucking thrash! Given the spooky skulls and vampira vibe on the artwork, I was expecting some popish horror punk, but Chesty Malone and her assortment of Slice ‘Em Ups are having none of it. Raging (and I’m serious) riffs and pounding rhythms assault you in house-shaking two minute blasts. The best part about Now We’re Gonna See is probably the vocal work - Chesty doesn’t resort to the usual default personas with this type of music (ungodly shrieking or ‘hey-look-I’m-a-saucy-broad’ come-hither cutesy-ness), instead just roaring with the best of them like a zombified L7. Additionally, the gruff male backing vocals are great and work perfectly.
The guitar shredding on “Trouble With Cannibals” is insane, and I kept expecting a gang of bikers to pull into my driveway at any minute, drawn like sharks to blood in the water by the rough and tumble howling of what might be one of the scene’s heaviest horror thrashers. Watch your back Lemmy, Chesty is gunning for you."
- JT Habersaat / Altercation Magazine"


"First off what a great name for a band. Chesty Malone and the Slice 'Em Ups are a hard rocking punk band bloodsoaked in sleaze and attitude. Jaqueline Blownapart has a truly unique voice. It sounds like she has been taking shots of whiskey over broken glass, but she still manages to be tuneful and melodic while showing plenty of range. Think a female version of Lee Ving (Fear). The guitars here are straight up in your face rock 'n roll with some crazed over the top leads. The bass and drums sound great and hold the chaos together.
The first song "Satan Met a Lady" is a high octane thrashing punker. Jaqueline menaces and wails about what is wrong with the world (CB's Closing, Sid Vicious dying, Bono), but Satan was so attracted to her sinning that together they are going to bring us down and show us what disaster is all about. "Trouble with Cannibals" is an NYC punk classic. This song starts with tribal drumming with rhymic scratchy gutiars over it, before kicking into a frantic thrasher that is so catchy you will be singing it your sleep for a week. If that is not enough, their is a swaggering break that moves into a face melting eye popping solo that wouldn't be out of place on Metallica's Kill 'Em All. "13 Killers" starts off slowly with distorted ringing guitars with some great leads over it. Jaqueline shows a deeper range in her voice as she tells us some things about serial killers. This song then kicks into high gear, then into higher gear before slowing into a echoing bluesy riff. "B.P.P.S. (Eat Shit) is a total riot. The guitar intro is smoking and breaks into a pounding rhythm while the vocals terrorize and condemn us about the state of the city. "Skincrawl" is another fantastic track. The vocals here are saucy, mean and nasty. The guitars are swaggering old school garage punk, and the chorus has enough "Whooahhs" in it to make the Misfits say "Whoa."
I really can't say enough good things about this album. The streaming myspace files for some of these songs due them no justice at all and manage to remove the subtle details of what make this so great. What I really like about this record is that it has such a great old school feel. I love that are so many wild guitar breaks and leads. The vocals are rowdy and rough. The songs are full of violence, discontent, condemnation, attitude, blood, guts and ghouls; everything a punk record should have. If you dig Fear, The Stooges, The Dead Boys, or early Suicidal Tendencies, get this."

--Tony X, Hell Feels Like Home

"Seems when bands focus on horror flicks, they fall into two general categories: you have the non-human monsters, (such as Children of the Night and The Scared Stiffs), or the human monsters (e.g., cannibals and mass murderers), such as The Cramps and now CHESTY MALONE AND THE SLICE ‘EM UPS. Their CD, “Now We’re Gonna See What Disaster Really Means” (Wrecked; c/o chestymalone.com), is a fuckin’ hoot. Post-hardcore speed with a New York ‘80s style, they pound their way through 13 numbers, such as “Trouble With Cannibals” (one of my faves), “13 Killers” (what, no mention of New Yorker Albert Fish?), “Meat Factory,” “Skincrawl,” “Livereaters,” “Dotti Douchebag Sings the Blues,” and “Beavershot.” Thing is, from the first to the last, this is such a fun release, that its 30 minutes goes by so quickly. Chesty Malone, in her latest incarnation (she was the lead singer of Lady Unluck), is Jaqueline Blownaparte, whose throaty voice is not so much a death rattle, as it is a body slam, using a 24-pounder. The rest of the band, which includes her partner/co-writer/guitarist Anthony Allen van Hoek, keeps up with her (or she keeps up with them…either way it works). There are a lot of cool subtle film references throughout, such as “Spiderbaby” in “Livereaters” and perhaps “The Corpse Grinders” in “Meat Factory.” I haven’t caught them live, but it’s definitely on the agenda."

--Robert Barry Francos, Jersey Beat Fanzine


"These guys are essentially a trashy metal band with a singer from the post-Plasmatics school of rock and a slathering of biker-punk chutzpah. Lyrically, however, they seem to have cribbed notes from many a splatter flick, resulting in music that sounds like kin to Los Angeles’ long-gone, much-missed Haunted Garage, minus the rat traps on the eyes, brain-in-a-jar, and copious amounts of blood."

-–Jimmy Alvarado, Razorcake Mag

"While the singer dishes out more sass than trash, Chesty Malone & the Slice ‘em Ups would bloody more than a few lips in any rock–n-roll rumble. They stick to the basic horror-core punk–n-roll style, but do so with a few tricks up their bloodied ripped off sleeves beyond the usual three chords. The guitar has garage attitude, with plenty of tough flourishes and the vocals have the range from snotty punk to intense & edgy rock-n-roll. Frolicking bass-lines with fast and furious drums propel the album's best songs “Ghouls & Gangs” & “BPPS (eat shit)”, which tear along at full throttle, seemingly ready to run off the road at any minute. Chesty Malone & the Slice ‘em Ups approach the landscape of horror-core at its finest with skin-crawling lyrics combined with an eerie rock-n-roll flair. In other words this would be the perfect soundtrack for sneaking off to lover’s lane or make-out point to literally rock the night away."

--Jonny Taint, Punk Rock Review

"Next up were Chesty Malone and the Slice 'em Ups. I have been hearing quite the buzz about these guys and was really excited about finally seeing them live and in the rotting flesh! (quite possibly the best name for a band) Fronted by the unrelenting Jaqueline Blownaparte, a frontwoman not to be messed with! I got an eye and earful of punishing blood, sweat, sex and gore. Great gutsy theatrics and brutal punk rock with an edge all its own. This is the kind of live show so few bands have the balls to perform. Rock n' roll is supposed to be dangerous! My favorite song was "Beavershot", dedicated to all us ladies. I'm pretty sure I got one from where I was standing, or perhaps it was the toxic mixture of libations flowin' through me. Chesty Malone and the Slice 'em Ups are my new favorite NYC band."

--Karol Khaos, NY Waste Mag

"This month's soundtrack to a speeding ticket goes to Chesty Malone & the Slice 'em Ups and their latest five song rocker. Heavy kickin' tunes that will have you flying, crusher guitars and graveyard vocals - imagine Motorhead versus Sabbath to see who gets to go drinkin' with the grim reaper."

--Starr Tucker, NY Waste Mag

"The lead singer of this band is hot and totally scary!"

--KustomKitten, GigPosters.com

 

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