5/7/09 - Well kids here at Slice 'em Ups HQ the big news is that we are getting ready to record our second album! We will be entering Wild Arctic Studios in Queens once again in just a couple weeks for the first sessions of what we are calling Torture Rock. You heard it here first kids. We are also filming a video for the song Zombie Relief Fund. If you live in or are planning to visit the NYC area and want to be in the vid email us: chestymalone@gmail.com We will be filming throughout the month of June. ZRF is a brand new song that we haven't even played live yet and it has a very heavy and deep concept--instead of wasting your $ trying to save hungry people, feed the hungry people to the poor hungry zombies instead. As usual go to our Myspace for more current updates.

3/29/09 - Goddamn it's been a while! Our midwest tour was a success and we made it back in one pieces! Since then it seems like we've played everywhere but our own hometown of New York City! Along with the aforementioned tour (which saw the Slice 'em Ups play Cleveland, Chicago and Harrisburg, PA) we've been to Albany, Ny, Port Jefferson, NY and we even played Philly on St. Patty's day! We are currently hard at work writing songs for album #2! let's hope we somehow manage to avoid the dreaded sophmore jinx. Plus, sometime in the very near future this whole site is going to be re-done! In the meantime, for all the up to the minute Slice 'em Ups news you're better off going to our Myspace page! In fact, go there now why don't ya?!?!? You can also write directly to us at: chestymalone@gmail.com.

12/03/08 - We are about to embark on our first ever midwest tour! This will be the first leg of what we've dubbed the Bloodthirsty Hungry and Mean Tour (which will continue on into 2009). Go to our shows page for more details but it begins Thursday, December 11th in Cleveland.

9/8/08 - We have a brand new tune recorded live at Southpaw in Brooklyn, NY up on our myspace page now! It's called "Exit 13" and it features new bandmember Angel Cotte on drums. Also, we're playing with the Mentors in Connecticut in October (check the shows page) and we'll finally be up in the Boston area (Allston to be exact) on September 19th (again, check the shows page, we've also got some local NY shows)! Slice 'em Ups!!!

7/10/08 - Big News! We have a new line-up, but we are still not naming names so you will have to check our Myspace page for clues! We also have announced our Summer '08 tour of New York! You can crawl on over to the Shows page for info on that. In the meantime, keep looking for Chesty sightings and we will report as it goes along!!

6/20/08 - Chesty Malone and the Slice 'em Ups--the band that would not die!!! Yes folks, sadly we recently said goodbye to both Hans and Tom and we wish them both nothing but the best! Brothers til the end. However that does not spell the end of the Motherfuckin' Slice 'em Ups! Check back soon for the announcement of our two newest members! And buy our CD!!!

5/7/08 - Things have sure been busy for the ol' Slice 'Em Ups lately! First, we'd like to thank everyone who's bought our album! If you haven't yet, go to our merch page and get your ass one!! You can also check out our awesome combo deal of the CD and "13 Killers" Poster! Poster is signed by the band and numbered in limited edition 1 - 13! Get 'em while ya can! There's also some new Reviews up- and photos of our record release party can be seen at our Myspace page. In other news, you can check out a sneak peak of a photo project on Punk Landmarks by Anthony and Jaqueline in the NY Waste -- the full project will be posted in a blog soon for all you poor folks who don't live here in NYC!!

3/27/08 - Holy Crap! It's Official! Our Album is out!! Go to our Merch page to get one! For Brooklyn folk, you can also go buy it at Pass Out Records. We will be having our CD Release party at Lucky 13 Saloon April 11th!! Check out the shows page for more info. We also are working on a whole bunch of out of town shows, so if you want Chesty in your town (Northeast for now!) contact us and let us know!! Fuck yeah!!

3/06/08 - Well it's Old Man Van Hoek's birthday again and guess what? Now you can read his thoughts and musings at his brand new blog, entitled Rock n' Roll Ruined My Life. Check it out.

2/29/08 - Big news folks!! The album is actually coming out! Wow! We kissed our Chinese Democracy dreams goodbye! In the next couple of days we will be posting the link to PRE-ORDER the album which will officially be out in the next coming weeks. There will also be a couple of CD Release shows for ya'll to attend. In the meantime you can come down to our next show March 7 @ Hanks Saloon! Check out the SHOWS Section for more info!

1/20/08 - First news of 2008! The record is still not quite out but we're getting closer! There are new shows up and you can hear some tunes from the record on the music page and on our myspace page. Here is a sneak peak of our album cover:

12/1/07 - Thanks to all who came to the Hank's & Midway shows! We saw more hair and Dio patches than we knew what to do with. The record is done, you can help us get it packaged and out to you sooner if you head over to our merch page and buy yourself a Chesty shirt! Hell, it's the holidays- what says more of your feelings to your friends and family than buying them all a classic boobtastic Chesty shirt! Also, be sure to catch us Dec 14 @ the return of the LUST party!! Check out our shows page for more info.

Now We're Gonna See What Disaster Really Means!

11/17/07 - We finished recording our album this week! Details coming soon. And we had fun playing at Hank's Saloon last night! Great playing with the Crusher and Blackout Shoppers again (been a while). Anyone that's in NYC the night before Thanksgiving should go see us and CA metallers Slough Feg at Club Midway (see the shows page for details).

10/31/07 - Damn, two news entries in two days! Damn productive around here. Happy Halloween! Go to our pics page to see a gallery of stuff that's not on myspace!

10/29/07- Well, Halloween o' Chesty is finally all but over! We had a blast! Thanks to Pat Duncan at WFMU--we wanna do it again! Also thanks to WWIX, the Sheckies and everyone who came out or tuned in! Go to our myspace page to see the blog about it all with lots o' pics! In the meantime here's one that's not up over there. Also up over there is "13 Killers" from the WFMU show! The website is starting to get jealous about all that new stuff over there so stay tuned here for new stuff that ain't on myspace!

10/12/07 - We've been hiding away in our practice spot getting ready to finish recording our debut album, which is going to be called "13 Killers". We also have our awesome Halloween shows coming up, including the live show on WFMU, and 2 all ages shows! Check the shows section for details! "13 Killers" will be finished up come November so hold tight kiddies, we're almost there!! Happy early Halloween!

9/12/07 - We finally threw up (haha) a couple sort of reviews on the Critics page! Check it out.

9/8/07 - Online Radio Chesty Stuff! In case you haven't yet heard the world famous "Satan Met A Lady" live, on our Myspace page, or here on the website, you can also catch it in the latest podcast from England's own Scarewaves! (Check out our links page to get there!) We also have some awesome shows coming up, including the Sept.15th Badass Burlesque @ Bowery Poetry Club! Chesty and more boobs to hoot.

8/15/07 - We will be playing live on the air on WFMU on Thursday October 25th (just in time for Halloween)! If you don't live here in the tri-state area, go to their site 'cause they stream online. Tune in around 9:30pm. More details soon. We're also playing across from where good ol' CBGB used to be, at the Bowery Poetry club on 10/27 (again more details soon!). Always check the shows page for current dates!

8/02/07 - Welcome to our new website! In other news, our debut two song CD single is out and about, making the rounds. You can get one at the shows or go to our merch page. It has the lovely ditty Livereaters and our international hit single Trouble with Cannibals. Look for our full length debut by the end of the year, hopefully (if the good lord's willing and the creek don't rise). Check back here often for updates and new merch (also feel free to check out our myspace page, which more than likely has more up to the minute updates than this site since it's a lot less of a pain in the ass to update).

And that's the way it bleeds.